Yes this is part two. There is a part one just a few posts back. You’ll find it. If you, that is Johanna Phuti reads this, it means I send you the link. I finally had the courage to it.
Don’t worry nobody can find this sommer easy. Unless they are very good with Google or unless I send them the direct link like I did you. Please take it easy and read it on your time. This post is just for you.
I don’t know where it happened. I know you were always pretty to me. There was always, from the beginning just something. You know, just something. Just something.
It had to stay at something and maybe a little skelm stare. No, stare in not the right word. It was just an appreciative look. It was a “wow” look. A wow this woman is beautiful. And it had to stay “a skelm look” because you were (and maybe still is) off limits to me. More about off limits later.
Later on I really had to force myself not to stare. Not to stare at your figure. Especially if you walk to the back and I see you from behind. I can look till you disappear around the corner.
Then I started to notice the little things. I noticed funny things you were saying. Jokes you were making. I don’t know if I mistaking but I noticed how you listened out for me. Like you paid attention to when I spoke and sometimes were the only one that answered.
That is where it really started. I asked myself can this beautiful woman really like me. And when I started to pay attention more and more to you.
Anyway here we are now. I broke the ice with the Corona. And then the second time you must have known for sure. Then the call Sunday evening. I’m sure by now you know I’m crazy about you.
So what are we going to do? I can only assume you have a boyfriend. Its practically impossible for a beautiful girl like you not to be single.
Maybe you want to try something. I know it’s going to be difficult with the work and so. If we can only get together once in a while it will be good. Maybe you can come and braai at my place or if the restaurants open we can go somewhere. Let’s just see.
If you don’t want I can totally understand it. I promise I will. Things will be cool. In fact I only expect it.
Maybe we should just leave it. One day when I leave Tops I will give it another shot. Maybe you interested then.
Remember me to tell you one day how I think about your chickens and how I think you’ve got it going for you. Do you have plans? Like ideas? Maybe we can get you some money somewhere to start if you want. The government is literally throwing money at woman to start business. You are first in line.
I can tell you one thing. I will always, for as long as we work together respect you as my employee. I will never force you. I will always keep my distance at work.
I don’t know how I am going to tell you or how I am I going to do it. I’ll write some more and maybe mail you the link.
I am crazy about you. Eish. Hopefully it will soon blow over. I’m really sorry for putting you on the spot. If I did.
I’m just writing and being nervous. And stupid. What was I thinking in the first place. You are so out of my league.
You’ll notice from me I get extremely nervous around a woman I like. I say dumb shit and do even dumber stuff. Like Wednesday night. But as soon as I am certain I am lot of fun. Very chilled then.
I wish I never bought you that first Corona. I just fucked things up. Should have leave it like it was. Me having a crush on you and just enjoy you in the shop. Now you know. And things will be different now.
Well this it. Or about it. There is so much more, but this covers the basics.
This covers the most important thing. I am crazy about you Johanna Phuti. I wish we could get together soon and just talk. Just start to get to know each other outside of the shop.
I so want to tell you how desperately I want to get away from Tops. I so want to show you my app (which I believe is my ticket out of there) and I want you to expect progress from me every day. I so want to be afraid to tell you I did nothing last night.
But I know it’s all just a dream. Leave me alone , I am allowed to dream. I am allowed to wonder about you.